Baking Therapy...

Fllummmphh!  Oh, excuse me - that was the sound of me collapsing! Baking is an exhausting process these days, as I only have one and a half hands to do it! I say half, because I do now have movement in my right hand, but not all of the feeling. In other words, I can pick up and move objects, but can't always tell when I have dropped them. Well, not until I look at the ground and wonder where the mess came from....

I decided on baking today because I thought it would help the current climb out of this attack of depression. I am, at the moment, hanging off the edge at the top of the pit, peering over and calling out 'hello?' in a voice not quite loud enough. This is an improvement on the last few days, which were spent grovelling at the bottom, not realising it was a pit with a hole at the top at all!

I know some would rather beat themselves with a wet kipper than spend an afternoon baking, but I find it therapeutic. It is a combination of creativity, of doing something I am reasonably good at, and of caring for those around me. It fights against those feelings of being useless, of having no purpose, that depression creates. It means producing something which my family or friends can eat, although I cannot earn any money. It also gives hope - something that depression sucks right out of you - for the future. Maybe I can cook for someone? Make a cake to cheer someone else up? Maybe even get a job, when I am fit enough?

So next time I am depressed, don't avoid me because you don't know what to say. Come round and look in the cupboards! Today we have bread, poppy seed and sea salt rolls, and some lemon and poppy seed cake.

I'll even make you a cup of tea.....!