Faith

...A selection of my poems and songs written from my experience and relating to my Christian faith...







Beauty from Pain

I may not want to wake up in the morning,
To face another day just like before,
And tomorrow,when I do, as it is dawning,
The pain may still be there, hard to ignore,
I may still have to fight for every minute,
And feel the way I did today, again,
Lord, I pray that even while I'm in it,
You'll remind me still that beauty comes from pain,

I might still be afraid about tomorrow,
And of the life I seem to have to live,
I still feel I am drowning in my sorrow,
I'm tired, I have nothing left to give,
You know how hard I'm finding it to trust you,
And like I could make a choice to go insane,
Lord, give me strength to do the things I must do,
And remember still how beauty comes from pain.

I know that everything that I hold precious
Has come to me out of the darkest nights,
I've seen You work with all my biggest messes
And turn all of the darkness into light,
My closest friend was made out of our trials,
My biggest childhood loss has been returned,
My purest faith from all that was defiled,
The hardest are the deepest lessons learned.

So as I sleep tonight, and when I waken,
Please heal the pain, in body and in mind,
Give me a hope that never will be shaken,
And help me see my future through the eyes
Of those who can already see my beauty,
And all the life for me that still remains,
And I will work, and wait for You, believing
That You can still bring beauty from my pain







Night Prayer


In longest watches of the night
I'm growing tired of the fight
To hold myself against the pain,
Pretend that I am not afraid,
My faith and hope are wearing thin,
The burden of too many things,
I know this pain, but being there
Makes this no easier to bear.


And yet it does, as deep inside
I hold a memory, as I cry,
Of times I bore the pain alone
And laid myself before Your throne,
With children's faith, a simple plea,
'Lord, Jesus, come and stay with me'
And You would be there at my side
Until the sun dispelled the night.


So here I am, tonight, again,
My childhood hero, comfort, friend,
I will not ask You 'come and stay'...
I know You never went away...
But Lord, please make my heart aware
Through all the pain, that You are there,
Please heal my body, make it whole,
Dear Jesus, healer of my soul.












God, Love and Tea

As I struggle through my day
Its becoming clear to me
That the meaning of the Universe
Is God, and love, and tea..

In a God who doesn't change
Is my faith from long ago,
When my present looks impossible
I hold to what I know...

A simple silver necklace
You will see me wear each day,
Its a gift from those who love me more
Than poetry can say...

When it comes to times of stress
I am English through and through,
I'll be off to put the kettle on,
And sit down for a brew...

Bad days will always be there,
But effective, safe and free
The solution anyone can share,
Its God, and love, and tea.








Prayer for Peace


Father give me peace today
And touch me with your love,
Help me see beyond the pain of now
To greater things above,
Take away my anger, my frustration, my despair,
Heal the deepest part of me,
I need to know You're there.

Always focus on the problems
'Til they overtake my mind,
Wishing I could leave this frightening place,
And leave the past behind,
Father, lift my face and help my eyes
To see the way You do,
And help me take a moment to 
Commit my day to You.

Why do I ever doubt Your words
When lifted up for all to see
The love that held You to the cross
Still shows the world You care for me,
Lord, help me see beyond each face,
Each lonely life that needs Your grace,
Father, let Your love be seen in me...

In the midst of all my problems
Even though I've gone so far,
Father, help me to believe
That rest and peace is where You are,
And You said You'd never leave me,
And You'd be with me always,
Father, help me in my unbelief,
And get me through today.







Hear My Voice (Psalm 27)

Lord, you are my light and my salvation,
Is there any need for me to fear?
Lord, you are my life, you are my stronghold,
Should I be afraid when you are near?
And though I see an army camp around me.
And war has broken out against my mind,
Though I cannot see you in the darkness,
You said if I seek, then you will find.

(Ch.)
Hear my voice when I call out to you, Jesus
Hear my cry and have mercy on my soul,
Show your face as my heart is searching for you,
Touch my life, meet me here, and make me whole.

Do not hide yourself from me, Lord Jesus,
Keep me walking closer to your side,
The space between reality
And how I know my life to be
Without you, Lord, is infinitely wide,
And though I feel that I have been forsaken,
And I've forsaken all I knew before,
Teach me how to walk the path before me
Show me how to wait upon you, Lord,

(Br)
Though I am not worthy to receive you
Through the blood of Christ and grace alone,
Father, let me gaze upon your beauty,
Father let me stand before your throne.

Hear my voice when I call out to you, Jesus
Hear my cry and have mercy on my soul,
Show your face as my heart is searching for you,
Touch my life, meet me here, and make me whole.





My God


God of my childhood Sunday School
Who stayed beside me through it all
Through Bible class and Girls Brigade,
Cold streets of Romsey on parade
On summer camps and youth weekends
Sermons we thought would never end,
Legwarmers and an eighties perm,
Beginning and the end of term,
Arthritis and the nights of pain
When you sat there with me, again,
In music, reading, dance and art
At seventeen, a broken heart,
The friends who made me face the truth,
My diabetic self abuse,
The different parts of family
And finding out who I could be,
Through marriage, to the other side
Through every tear I ever cried,
Faithful to guide me, every day
A lifetime walking in Your way,
I know you hear me still, somehow,
Dear God, I really need You now.





Come to Me

Bearing the burden of so many things
Holding on tightly to everyone’s sins,
Despising the darkness but letting it win,
Wanting to live but afraid to begin,
Building resentment, internalised pain,
Watching it happen again and again,
Wondering how many smiles you can feign
Needing a glimpse of the sun through the rain,
Its hard to believe in a light you can’t see
So give up the fight, come to me.

Memories of all of the things you have done
Not understanding what life has become,
Losing the person you thought was the one,
Wishing sometimes that you’d never begun,
Fighting the lies that are inside your mind,
Feeling tormented by thoughts all the time,
The harder you struggle, the tighter they bind,
As all you believe in begins to unwind,
I know that you’re tired and want to be free,
So just as you are, come to me.

Afraid of the weight that you might have to bear
If you should acknowledge your faith is still there,
You look up in anger and ask if I care,
I save all your tears and hear every last prayer,
I’m not a religion, a long list of rules,
A dead superstition repeated by fools, 
Since the very first moment you answered my call
I have held on to you, and I won’t let you fall,
I know everything you are going to be,
Walk back into the light, come to me. 





My Redeemer's Reply

I can see  you, my daughter, I know that your words
Come out of a chasm of hurt upon hurt,
I am not condemning you from far away
I can hear every prayer, every word that you pray


You may not believe that you pray any more,
But when you first met me, you opened a door
Between your soul on earth and your Saviour on high,
So it rises to me every time your heart cries.


I see beyond anger,  your fear and despair
I know deep within you,  your faith is still there
You think it is weak, but its always been strong
You and I, we have fought in the battle so long.


You see faith isn't always the happy, the bright,
Sometimes its the one who won't give up the fight
No matter how many more times that you fall,
You get up again, and you give it your all


The things that have happened, the things you have lost,
The sadness you feel when you're counting the cost
Has never turned you into somebody else
Inside, where it matters, I see your true self.


You are strong and amazing, and gifted, and brave,
No matter how people around you behave,
You know who I am, and you know who you are
So look to the future now, not at the scars.


I see you and hear you,  the child that I know.
The places you've been, those you still have to go,
So let out your anger,  your pain is my own
And know your Redeemer is still on the throne.


I said by your love they would know you are mine
I have given you something unique and divine
So take it to others who fight to be free
And tell them I love them, I hear them, I see.






Prayer to a Friend

When I was just a little girl
Surrounded by a scary world
I didn't know that I was loved
And so I learned to look above
For Someone who I could believe
Would always be there, never leave.

You were my Saviour as a child,
Not gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
But someone real, a proper friend,
Who'd stand beside me to the end,
To set my little spirit free,
A Warrior to fight for me.

Every secret childish fear
I'd share and know that You were near,
Whether a formal prayer I prayed,
Or simply talked about my day,
You didn't laugh or think me small,
And so I trusted You with all.

When sickness came and sleepless nights
I didn't want to share my plight
And wake my parents from their bed
I always talked to You instead
And now, if I should doubt Your care
I just remember, You were there.

So as I bear another load,
And try to walk this lonely road,
Lord, help me see You, not on high
But close beside me, standing by
We made a covenant, a vow,
And You will not forsake me now.





Unspoken Prayer


I pray for each person who lives with pain
That nobody sees, in silence and shame,
The unspoken pleas that may not be shared
Alone in a crowd with nobody there
Thoughts that are lonely in many a pew
Those who cannot figure out what to do
Keeping it calm when their life is too rough
Scared that their faith is no longer enough,
Lord, for those who need their burdens released
Reach down and rescue them, give them Your peace.

Amen.





A Thousand Pieces

A thousand pieces of my heart
I bring before You now,
No way of knowing where to start,
But hoping that, somehow,
The God who said He would be near
And wipe our tears away
Is willing still to meet me here
Just where I am today

I know that I have trusted Him
Since I was very young
And I have never ceased to sing
Of all that He has done,
But the place where I am left
Seems like everything has gone
I am empty and bereft,
But in my weakness, He is strong

There is no power up above
On earth, or down below
Can separate me from His love
Or change the things I know,
He said He would not leave me
And I still believe its true
That even now He sees me,
Even this He'll bring me through

And as I stand before my King
Hes lifting up my face
No judgement now, but love He brings,
He brought me to this place,
Not to bow beneath the weight of blame
From which I should be free,
Nor to carry someone elses shame
That wasn't mean't for me

Some people mock the person
Who has faith, the one who prays,
I will not choose another life,
In worship I will raise
My eyes, my hands, my heart to Him
The praises of my soul,
A new song now I have to sing,
And He will make me whole.





Be Still
(Lift Up Your Face)

Lift up your face
Let me look at you,
My child of grace 
For whom I died,
I know you can't
See everything I do
But I am here,
So will you try

To look up from the ground?
That isn't where your hope is found,
Remember, fix your eyes on me,
Don't look around, the storm
Is not where I am coming from,
It isn't all there is to see.

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I can see you
Be still, I truly know your heart,
Be still, I know what you have gone through,
Be still and know that I have said 
That love will cast out fear
You heard a promise long ago
That I would use your tears
Did you think I had forgotten?
Did you think that I would go?
Be still, be still and know.

Lift up your eyes,
Know where your help comes from,
The Maker of 
The earth and sky,
I am your God,
The all sufficient One,
Ancient of Days, 
Father of Lights

Look up and see Me there
I will not leave you in despair,
Remember you were made to live for me
Don't look at all the pain
Its time for you to live again
I am the light you need to see,

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I can see you
Be still, I truly know your heart,
Be still, I know what you have gone through,
Be still and know that I have said
That love will cast out fear,
You heard a promise long ago
That I would use your tears
Did you think I had forgotten?
Did you think that I would go?
Be still, be still and know.

Be still, be still, and know.





Broken Pieces

It looks like they are shattered
Lying broken on the floor
Feeling nothing ever mattered
That it will not, any more
It looks like life has dealt
Another cruel and heartless blow
As we wonder what our God has done
And suffer, here below
But as we lift our eyes to see
His patterns of perfection
The broken pieces of our hearts
Will shine with His reflection.










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