An Invitation from AJ Quackpaddle....
I'm swimming in the Splosh Pond,
You ought to come on by,
We've ordered out to Fruitbat Land
For lots of apple pie,
Giraffes have all been baking,
So we're having cake for free,
With Pond Water Quackaccinos,
Or, if you prefer it, tea.
The Duckage are arriving soon,
I'm not the only one, there's
Dunkin' Duck and Waddlesplash,
The parties just begun,
We're going to a Yayquack Dance
And if I'm not mistaken,
There'll be quackin' karaoke,
And tail feathers will be shaken!
If you're not a Duck,
You're very welcome still to come,
It should be quite a gathering
before our time is done..
We invited Frank the Camel
And I'm sure hes bringing friends,
And a few resentful finches
Always make a lively blend...
If you've never been to see us
You should really come today,
Never heard of Nofinch Quackbury?
Its not far, we'll show the way,
Its just up the road and round the bend,
And past a gene or two,
Just close your eyes and you may find
The Duck that lives in you.....
Skatewaddling at the Splosh Pond
Today, a certain Duck we know
He waddled to the place
Where Ducks all like to go,
When he returned, I saw his face...
His feathers fluffed in great alarm,
His bill was all a-quiver,
He quacked "The pond is frozen,
All the way down to the river!"
My thoughts were quite the same as his,
What was a Duck to do?
"Call off the Yayquack Dance? A shame -
I wish it wasn't true!"
But Waddlesplash then quacked aloud,
And being rather smart, he
Declared "I know!" (He looked quite proud)
"We'll have a Skating Party!"
The Nofinch Quackbury Yayquack Dance
Is known for miles around,
Even finches come if theres a chance
That they will be allowed.
The residents of Fruitbat Land
Arrive on Apple Pies,
And everybody gives a hand,
Or wing, for those who fly!
So everybody set about
To changing for the weather,
Its amazing what the Bats and Ducks
Can all achieve together
Skates were found for those without
Webbed feet to serve the purpose,
And all the pond was checked for cracks,
And polished on the surface.
A quacking time was had by all
The Apple Pies were eaten,
Frank, he couldn't skate at all,
But camels won't be beaten!
Every creature helped his friend
The food and drink were flowing,
And none who went could bear to end
The night or think of going!
But finally, when all was done
We gathered round the pond,
Although we're all from different lands,
We share a common bond,
We all believe in Christmas
So to celebrate the cause,
The Duckage gave a YAYQUACK,
Bats, a round of wing applause!
Waddlesplash got up to quack
No speaker could be finer,
He coughed a little nervously,
And, putting down his cider,
He told the story once again
About this time of year
Of the greatest Duck theres ever been,
Sent down to save us here.
At this, a little squaller turned
And asked his Fruitbat Mother
"I thought He was a little Bat?
Or do they mean another?"
"Oh no, He is the very same"
she gently did respond,
For Camels, Ducks, AND Bats He came,
For ALL around the pond."
So come on down and skate awhile
And join our quacky songs,
And share the joy in Quackbury,
We have it all year long,
But Christmas, well, we like to think
We do it rather well,
So grab some Squibblemint,
Now, all together...."RIMPLE JELLS...."
So many days it seems
That I'm inclined to flap and worry,
My bill is smooshed against a wall,
My feathers in a flurry.
Its time to put away the things
That finches chirped and tweeted,
I'm going to turn the other wing,
Besides, I'm sure they cheated.
So I'll forgive them, let it go,
Yeah, blah blah blah whatever....
All nasty birdies go away,
So I can change the weather,
Stop hovering above the pond,
Yer great big finchy flock,
Too many of you for too long -
Its all a bit Hitchcock!
Yes, the finches are annoying,
But we left an open door
For them to change their ways
After the Duck and Chirper wars,
But all they want to do is perch
Up on the wire all day,
And go into the Birdseed Bar,
Although they never pay.
There are a few exceptions
To the lack of finchy class,
Some birdies have reformed
And have a Friendly Finchy Pass
Which lets them in the Yayquack Dance
And Splosh Pond for the day,
When Waddlesplash is satisfied
That they have changed their ways.
We Ducks, we like a bit of peace,
We never wanted war,
To make the fighting cease
We all just sat down on the floor,
We gave them Apple Crumble
From the mines in Fruitbat Land,
They showed their truest feathers,
Spat it out upon the sand!
Well, Ducks are often happy
And they like to dance and sing,
And violence and revenge
Are never usually their thing,
But when it comes to Fruitbats,
Who are family and friends,
The chirpers, they can run,
But we will get them in the end!
For those of you who do not know it,
Marmite is a spread,
And Twiglets are the legs of finches,
Taken off when dead,
Marinated in the stuff, you buy it in a jar,
And buy the crispy things in bags
In all the Quackbury bars.
But like I said, don't stress yourself,
It isn't worth the pain,
When you see Twiglets on the shelf,
Remember it again....
Nofinch Quackbury, Chirpit Tweeton
Where the fowl and finchy war
Drove everybody quackers mad
And made their wings quite sore.
Its safe to waddle Nofinch now,
And if you're here, perchance,
Do stop beside the Splosh Pond
And attend a Yayquack Dance,
You will find that nothing, bird or beast
Can keep a good Duck down,
The quackish spirit still remains
In Nofinch Quackbury town!
Fruitbattian Yayquackian Festivities
Come gather, Ye Bats and Ye Ducks, on this morn,
If any are feeling quacked off or forlorn
We have a solution to make you feel fine,
The Battian Bus will be here, form a line....
To take you to Quackbury Village at once
Where we'll cheer you right up with an excellent lunch!
Some of you Ducks, you look down in the bill,
And a few of the Squallers were feeling quite ill,
Things have been iffy a few days or so,
So we thought it was time that we put on a show!
So after some tea, there is fun to be had....
We're going to raise the Fruitbattian flag!
You may wonder, why do this in Quackbury Town?
Well, it turns out that there are enough to go round
So each country can fly both their own, and their friends,
It seems proper to do so, theres much to commend
A high flying reminder of those who we love,
As we think of the towns we fly each flag above!
So lift up your voices, and feathers and wings,
And join the festivities, have a good sing,
The National Anthem of old Fruitbat Land,
And the Song of Quackonia played by the band...
The Bats and the Ducks will be glad they were there,
As they're served gerbilsnigger by Horace the Bear!
Ode to Aunt Hildapond....
We miss you so,
Though you were quackers,
Its no way to go,
We tried hard to save you,
From all of their plates,
But alas, you are now
In a crispy pancake.
Come with me to the village, the place of splashquack
All the duckage are waiting with flumpnurgling frondsThat they bought from the Fruitbats for finchybirdthwack
Come, now pull up a plumpstool, they’ll start before long
Perhaps we should stop for some qcklicious snacking
Pond Scum Quackaccinos all bunnywhisked frothy?
They do give you feathercramp, cause anxious quacking
You might be best with the old Algaebean coffee…
But our Apple crumble is simply splendicious
Eaten fresh from the mines of our lovingbat friends
Twiglets, they are good, though they can be chompvicious
Of course hoomings don’t know they are finchybird ends!
Swim down the Swim Lane, all Quackpaddlers are going
Ending at the Sploshpond and the Yayquack Dance Hall
Not just ducks, all manner of wafflebirds, knowing
Waddlesplash brings enough tweetsquawkstrings for us all
And much later on, so the rumourfrog told me
The Princess herself will be quackwaddling at us
Shes dormouseydorabubble, that you’ll soon see
We should get plumpseatage as there’ll be a big rush
Come with us to Quackbury, place of duckwonder,
There is no place like home, you’ll unflerping declare
And as the frencheesymoon sets down and under,
You will never forget you sploshwaddledanced there.
Finches Who Lunch
I know what you are thinking
They're the cutest little birds
Dear, little fluffy finches,
And to hate them is absurd
Yes, they have spread their lies
But I believe, I have a hunch
You won't like the ones I know,
Nasty finchybirds who lunch
They meet in Chirpit Tweeton
Down the Newsybeak Cafe
Put the world to right, and wrong,
They cheep and twitter on all day,
Not a single happy chirp is heard
They moan and whine and tweet
About the ducks, and other birds
Its like they all compete!
'Did you SEE old Mrs Splashbill,
Feathers all in disarray?
Shes been up to this and that
Mark my chirping, she will pay!
I was hopping in Fine Feathers,
Hildabeak, didn't you know?
I would NEVER tell another
But I'm sure that it is so!'
When they've slandered all the ducks
With their nasty chirping lies
They go on and on about themselves
And how their health's demise
Is made oh, so much worse
By all those selfish birdies who
Just won't be manipulated
To be what they want them to!
So if you're in Chirpit Tweeton
(I advise you NOT to go)
Please avoid the Newsybeak Cafe
Unless you want to grow
Quite as negative as them
Mentally poisoned while you munch
In the soul destroying presence
Of the Finchybirds who lunch.
You are just brilliant, this work is all superb. I am so proud to be your Dad X
ReplyDeleteThank you Daddy, got it from you! I am so proud you ARE my Dad! xx
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