This morning, I had my first bagel for eight months. My taste apparently has not changed - onion with chive. Of course, if I could get hold of an Asiago bagel and some Willow Tree Chicken Salad.....
...excuse me, I need to take a moment.....
Since I have returned to England, there have been things I could not buy or eat, because they just triggered too many memories of being in New England. I would see these things in the shops, pause for a moment and walk on by. Peanut Butter, Reeses Cups, bagels, chowder. I wonder if it is a sign of healing that I have started to include these things again? The other day, I bought some Reeses Cups. I am back on the crunchy peanut butter. A bagel for breakfast today.
Of course there are things I cannot get here, just as there were English things I missed in America. Nobody can live in New England for more than five minutes without developing a Dunkin' Donuts coffee addiction, but I have returned to Starbucks, my first love, and have a loyalty card for Caffe Nero. My Coolatta cravings are somewhat assuaged by Shakeaways. I have continued to cook Mexican food, and find myself looking for Portuguese bread in the supermarket! I have found a UK website for Dreamfields Pasta.
One day, when I know I will be able to see the places I lived without being in too much pain to enjoy them, I will visit New England. I will eat clam chowder, buy a Dunkin' iced hazelnut, walk along Boston Harbor and take the trip over on the boat to Salem. I will go whale watching from P-Town, and see the fall colours in Vermont and New Hampshire, in all their glory.
I will hug my friends.
And one day, over here, I will be able to walk through Asda without stopping at the Ben & Jerry's ice cream and crying.
Ruth x
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