Watch Nothing...

Its hard. Its a life I could not have imagined as a child. I wasn't completely unaware - after all, I was the 'poor' one at my school. Yes, its relative - I went to a private school, and this means people think they have the right to assume things about you and abuse you in the street because they think they know your life.  But I knew how people who had less got treated.

I know that having money doesn't make a difference to how happy you are on an emotional level. There were, and still are, people with more than me who had parents who barely remembered their name. There were, and still are, people with less who had great, loving parents who didn't put them down or make them compete for their love. I can't even imagine that.

Now I am at a new level. I am, apparently, scum, a benefit scrounger, living off the state while I buy a big 'ol flat screen TV. (No, in case you're wondering, that is NOT true!)  I rant about Daily Mail reading Tories. OK I probably did before, but after America, and after this, I feel it now too, as one of those people they are misleading the public about. Its about time we were heard - not the people you see incredibly biased TV documentaries about - but the rest of us. The ordinary people who want a normal life.

Its hard to write this knowing that the people who were brought up like me will say 'yes, we understand'. Do you? But then, I'm still on the other side too - when I say I've lost 'everything' surely I mean 'ooh, I'm down to my last £100' right?

Er, no.

I'm so tired. Tired of money and the inability to work, on top of disability, on top of illness, on top of my Mother.s death, on top my life at home, on top of being a stranger in the church, on top of the family and friends I have lost, on top of my husbands betrayal...yes, I'm tired.

So now, I have to come from nothing, with nothing.  Well then, watch nothing.
It might surprise you.